Marian's Musings

New Day, New Life

2011-01-22T20:48:00.000-08:00

It has been almost 2 years since my last post. Much has happened since then. I was happily married to the love of my life. I still am married to that man, and have been for 27 years. However, he is no longer the love of my life. He is having hes 2nd affair in 2 years. I left him a month ago. She can have him.

The first affair devastated me. I could not function. I could not eat or sleep. Every time I tried to eat something I would choke due to the fear inside me. At that time I weighed 300 pounds, and could not get a job. I had no idea how I was going to support myself. I had no idea HOW to support myself.

I found out about the 2nd affair in late November. My father-in-law was here visiting. My husband left him with me and went to Texas to meet and spend the weekend with his new girlfriend (he lied, said he was divorced so he could get on eHarmony, so he could look for someone else on purpose). He thinks his dad doesn't know what he's done, but he does. The next weekend, he left his dad with me again, and went to spend the weekend with HER. I never let on that I knew about the affair. I just forwarded the emails between the two of them to my secret email address to use as evidence. You see, he is in the military, and could be sent to prison for committing adultery.

In October, 2009, I had a gastric bypass. I have lost 150 pounds. I have a full time job, that barely pays me enough to survive. I will survive, though, because I am trusting God to take care of me. My husband things that I am out to take him to the cleaners, but I'm not. He is going to give me something, though. He is not just going to throw me away with nothing after 27 years, so he can go off with his girlfriend like I don't matter. I MATTER. Maybe not to him, but I matter to the Lord. I pray every day for him to vindicate me in this situation. I don't want revenge, but I do want to be vindicated. I want the truth to come out. I want the whole world to see who and what he really is, and I want it to come out without me having to do or say a thing. I believe the Lord will do that for me.

Anyway, I am thinner, working and taking care of myself, and so much happier. Life is so much less stressful, and all the drama that is Ernie is gone from my life. Soon it will be all gone. I can't wait. God is indeed merciful. I KNOW He will take care of me, and I know he will vindicate me. Glory to His name forever.

Spring

2009-03-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

Though it is still 3 days until the first day of Spring on the calendar, I would like to announce that Spring has arrived despite the calendar. Hallelujah!!!

Don't you just love Spring? Life begins to spring forth from the earth again. Just as God intended. Pardon me for being a drag, but winter reminds me so often of the deadness of our lives. I mean, we are all born into sin. Sin is death. We all sin every day, even those of us who are saved in Christ Jesus. How many people don't have negative thoughts about people, or speak negative words about people? How many people aren't rude to someone at least once a day? We all sin. However, each year Spring arrives to remind us that the death of winter is passing away, and the resurrected life of Christ and those of us who have been baptized into Christ is coming to pass. Life is springing forth. Spring fever is the optimism of new beginnings and new life. All of creation begins to unfurl its leaves and petals. All of creation comes to life to praise the Lord. So why don't we? Why don't we lift our hands (or branches, as it were) and praise the Lord? Make this a glorious Spring by giving our LORD glory!!!

I'm Back

2009-03-09T17:12:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been almost three months since I last posted. What a busy three months it has been, too. In my last post, I spoke about our new granddaughter, Brooklyn being born. She is now 12 weeks old and absolutely precious. We love her to pieces. We love our grandsons Zachery, Andrew, and Wyatt, too. But Brooklyn is our only girl. She is the apple of everyone's eye.

I have spent the last five months, but especially the last three months running around like a fiend trying to get my husband ready to go back into the Army. He left the military on August 1, 1990. Now he is back in. Most people think we are nuts for doing this at this time in our lives, but why not. Our kids are grown and are living on their own. We are still pretty young, you know. We are only 47 years old. We both miss the military lifestyle. So, we are going to go and do what we want with our lives. We are going to go and see some more of the world and get to know each other again.

Our son, Anthony, has been trying to join the army recently. We have known since he was five years old that he would go into the military. He tried to get in when he was 17 and was unable to do so. Well, he and his wife have been talking lately. He is wanting to try again. Today he was successful. Today he swore into the Army and will leave mid-April. His wife is scared, and never been away from her family. But, bless her heart, she is willing to give this military life a shot. With Anthony enlisting in the army, we will now have four generations of military service in our family.

I have until mid-July to get my house in order so the military can come pack everything up. You just gotta love it when you move military style. The movers come to your house, pack everything up, move it, then unpack it for you. You don't have to hardly do anything. Its great. I have to say that I am really looking forward to moving back onto an army post. I miss hearing cadence in the morning. I miss hearing Reveille and Retreat being played every day as the American flag is raised and lowered. I miss the military community.

Well, I am done waving my flag for today. I hope to write again soon. I just have to get motivated to do so.

First Granddaughter

2008-12-16T05:14:00.000-08:00

Hello All. So sorry not to have not written for a while. Very busy, but not much to write anyway.

Two days (December 14, 2008) ago my youngest son and his wife welcomed their first daughter, Brooklyn Elizabeth Conner, into the world. Wow! They are understandably very proud of her. She is beautiful. Of course I am extremely partial. She looks just like her daddy. You know, I have always heard people say that babies look like so and so when they are born, and I have never been able to see it. I thought they were too young and their little faces too scrunched up to be able to tell, but not our Brooklyn. It was obvious the moment I looked at her.

Yesterday my son (Anthony) sent me a picture of Brooklyn on my phone. It was her first smile. Most people say the first smile is just gas. Not hers. Hers is an actual smile. She is probably thinking about how she had Daddy wrapped around her tiny little finger the minute he saw her come into the world. I am posting that smile here so you can see too, that it is a real smile. Also, just because this proud grandma just wants to brag.

I am very proud of my son and his wife. I have known all my life that Anthony would be a good father. Just watching him for the last year with his 2 year old stepson has proven me right. Also, watching him with his little girl has shown his gentle side.

Well, I have to get going with my day. I go to babysit another little heathen. Just kidding. I go to babysit a cute little girl named Jaycee across town. She is a sweetheart and I love her to pieces. Have a blessed day everyone.

Hello Again

2008-11-06T05:33:00.000-08:00

Hello again. It has been awhile since I was able to post here. While I am here, I would like to air my views on the recent presidential election.

My husband and I do not belong to any particular party. However, we usually end up voting republican, because we are, after all, pretty conservative. We just vote for whoever is telling the best lie at the time, because they are all lying.

Neither of us cared for either candidate running for the white house. As it turned out, we voted republican again this year, because we just don't trust Mr. Obama. We just feel an innate distrust of the man. It is not because he is black. Had Colin Powell been running, he would have had my vote, democrat or not. I just don't trust Obama. He will never answer a question, he just dances around the subject, trying to distract you from the issue.

Mr. Obama is far too liberal for me. I believe, that left to his own devices, he and Congress will run this country into the ground very quickly. We will be further from God than we have ever been before. However, Mr. Obama WILL NOT be left to his own devices. Why do I say that? Because God is in control. He always has been, is now, and always will be in control. I do not believe that He will allow Mr. Obama to go too far, if the christian people of the nation will rise up and pray without ceasing.

America is a nation founded on the Word of God. We were created for a purpose. That purpose is to stand up for what is right in the sight of God. To protect those who can't protect themselves. To spread the gospel of Christ to the world. We, as a nation, are the mandated protectors of democracy, freedom speech and the freedom to worship as we see fit, and the protectors of basic human rights. We have always stood up for the underdog.

So, there is my take on the election. I do not like the way it turned out, but I am not worried about the future. The LORD has everything well in hand. All we have to do is pray, trust, and obey. If we do our part, He will most definitely do His. I believe that with all my heart.

The Word of the Lord as Given to the Prophet, Kim Clement

2008-10-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

Kim Clement is a modern day biblical prophet. He is South African, but has been sent to America to prophesy. If you go to his website, http://www.kimclement.com, you will be able to read many of his past words. Anyway, he posted a word a couple of weeks ago, before the financial crisis hit. You can read that word below. Sounds like the Lord is going to take us for quite a ride in the next couple of years.

September 20, 2008 - Detroit, MI

Death, hell and the grave have no power. I am the resurrection and the life, I am He that holds the keys to death, hell and the grave. Death, where is your victory? Grave, where is your victory? Death, where is your sting? I am the rider on the horse, I am the resurrection and the life. I hold the keys to death, hell and the grave, I am the one, I am the one! The resurrection and the life, I hold the keys to death, hell and the grave.

God says, there's a stench coming from the grave, from the hearts of the people who come as enemies to this nation. There's a stench coming from the pit, coming from the pit of their beings saying "we will bring down the God of America." But who do they think they are? I'm the One, I'm the One, I'm the One, the resurrection and the life!

There's a stench coming from the people that have said "I will bring down the God of America." Who do they think they are, who do they think they are? I am the one that's on the horse, I am the King of Kings, the resurrection and the life, the resurrection and the life.

Who do they think they are to say I am no longer the one. Who do they think they are who say I am obsolete, I am no longer living. Who do they think they are who say I have gone never to return. What do think they are to say to Me, You are no longer the one. I gave My life, I gave My song, I gave My heart. I gave My heart, I gave My song to the one that crucified Me. I gave My heart, I gave My song to the ones who crucified Me.

There's a nation crying out for children. There's a nation crying out for children. They have taken the children of mine wanting them to be adults. There's a nation crying out for children that will cry to the Father. And this nation, America, will never never look away from the holy child, from the holy child who will come. The restoration of this nation, and you'll be great again, America, you'll be great again. You'll be great again, America! Because the prayers of the fathers, they have not died. From sea to shining sea, they will bow their knee. You'll be great again, America! You'll stand again, America! You'll stand proud again, America, from sea to shining sea they'll bend their knee. They'll bow their knee to the one and only Son, they'll bow their knee to the one and only Son. You'll be great again, America. You'll stand tall again, America. You'll be proud to say, we are the nation, the brave, the free, those that bring liberty. From sea to shining sea they will bend their knee.

This is the word of the Lord: You have come to hear what I have set aside for this nation for the next four years. Can a man restore order? Can a man bring change? None of those that stand shall do anything that they say, they shall attempt but without My presence and the acknowledgment of the Christ that was laid into the foundation, in the cornerstone of this nation, no man shall qualify to do anything. But the Spirit of the Lord said I have taken my prophet and prophets to the mid-term of this next president where sudden death shall cause people to say "has the Lord forsaken us?" But not so, for God said, even as this night you remember these words and you have allowed my prophet to prophesy the deep mysteries of the kingdom, for it shall be a massive and very strange happening, when they shall say "why are the democrats and the republicans suddenly joining forces with certain issues?" This shall be the working of the Lord. This shall be a presentation that shall shock and nullify those who have attempted to say "America will never stand united again." For God said you shall have two very severe enemies suddenly rise up against you and God said, you will not go to another war, for I will prevent it because I will take certain things that shall be manifested and they shall begin to withdraw because of the great authority that shall come because of the unity of this event that shall take place in the United States of America. For God says they shall say "we have no choice but to join hands, we have got to lay aside our differences." And the Spirit of the Lord said it shall be a marvelous thing. It shall confound your enemies. For God said I will cause the next four years to be a rulership under Me and under the Lord God Almighty and under the banner of the Trinity, the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Do not say "God has forsaken America." I have just told you through my prophet that there shall be so many changes and America shall be known as great and they shall be proud for they have attempted to help and unite other nations but now God said there is discord amongst this nation. I will cause you to be surprised, for God said you will look and you will say "look things have happened that we never dreamed would happen" therefore let Me rule, let Me reign. For the peace of God is about to rest upon this nation, yeah it shall be My will to speak goodness and goodness shall happen, says the Spirit of God!

For it is a stench unto Me, says the Lord, to hear men speak about the possibilities of an African American president with disdain. I've already told you that there shall be an African American president that shall come to rule but it shall come in My time. It shall come in a time of maturity, it shall come at a time that is perfect for this nation. Therefore God said, do not look back and say "oh we have to go back a few years." God said, you're not going back, for I have already got the inventions ready for you to have the energy that you need and so that you can be self-sufficient. It's going to happen so quickly and God said even now, even at this time, during the Thanksgiving of this year, I shall unfold many many things in this order. Therefore God said, look, prosperity is coming back to you. Do not look and say "Wall Street" and do not say "the stock market" and do not say "this or that." God said, I have looked at you and you are the apple of My eye, and because you are the apple of My eye I will come to you like I came to David and rescue you from the enemy that has tried to pull you down, says the Lord!

Financial Crises

2008-09-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

Well, the news has bombarded the country with the financial woes of Wall Street for the past several month. Just in the last week, Lehman Brothers, the 4th largest investment bank in the country has gone into bankruptcy. Merril Lynch is being swallowed up by Bank of America. AIG (American Insurance Group) is on the verge of collapse, scrambling to find a solution. Since February, we have watched as the government tinkers with the idea of a federal bailout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac mortgage companies. Six hundred thousand plus workers have lost their jobs this year alone. Yesterday, the Dow Jones fell 504.48 points. And last, but not least, the Fed has opted not to lower the interest rate in light of the financial crises we are facing.

Should we be afraid? If you listen to all the media reports, we should most definitely be afraid. We all are at risk of losing everything we own. It will become increasingly difficult to get credit of any kind. (Like I need any more credit). Many more people are likely to lose their jobs. If you listen to man, WE'RE ALL DOOMED. I refuse to believe that nonsense.

I believe that anyone who is remotely connected to the Lord knows better. If we put our faith and trust in Him, we will all be alright. Sure, some of us may lose our jobs and even our homes or cars. So what. It is only stuff, and we can always get more stuff. Right now, my husband and I are very close to losing everything we own, but I am not concerned. I know that my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19 NKJV)Earlier in the chapter, we are told to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6,7 NKJV). There is nothing our God can't do. NOTHING Stand fast. Be not afraid. You will prevail.

I happen to follow a well known, modern day prophet of God, by the name of Kim Clement. Below you will find excerpts from 2 of his previous postings. If you are interested in knowing more of what he says, you can go to his website, . Register to be able to inter the vault, click on prophecy and you will be able to read all the prophecies he has posted there.

The Fall of 2 Banking Systems
"While I was praying again this afternoon the Lord told me to remind the people that there are two great banking systems that will fall, not to fear, no recession. He said do not listen to the powerful force of prognostication, the force of prognosis, the media that are dictating how you are supposed to feel about the future. He said let this be a sign to you: two great banking systems will fall but it is not something that will destroy this nation. He said it is the bear and it is the lion." April 18, 2008

Financial Rumblings
"There is a banking system that shall crash. And they shall say, "but it is so big, how can this happen in America?" And God said, it shall crash, it shall crash and there shall be a shaking just for a short moment in time." December 03, 2005

Ask the Lord for wisdom, understanding, discernment, and revelation in the perilous times we live in. Ask Him for His guidance, and follow it. You, and I will safely weather the storm.

What a Crooner

2008-09-12T14:53:00.000-07:00

Next time I have trouble sleeping, I will just load up this video.

Fall

2008-09-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

Wow! I do believe that Fall is on its way. It is 11:40 AM, and it is only 64 degrees. Our high today is only supposed to reach 70 degrees. I don't believe we are supposed to reach 80 degrees at all during the next week.

I kind of like Fall. The temps are more comfortable. The Wooly Worms start crossing the road, in about two weeks, the corn and soybeans will begin to be harvested. Once that is done, you will be able to see for miles around in any direction.

Back to the Wooly Worms. Here is central Illinois, we have weather reporter, Judy Fraser, who send kids in the area on a Wooly Worm hunt. Typically she receives hundreds of the critters in jars over a period of a couple of weeks. She then counts how many of each color she has (black or cream). The color determines the difference of a cold winter or a mild winter. Here is an excerpt from a website (http://web.extension.uiuc.edu/macon/palette/061015.html), which tells about the Wooly Worm Folklore:

There is a lot of folklore surrounding the banded wooly worm, particularly related to its supposed power to predict upcoming winter weather each fall. The typical banded wooly worm has sections of black hairs at each end, and a section of orange-brown hairs in the center. Legend says that the more black on a banded wooly worm, the more severe the winter will be. Some folks have taken this to an extreme, and noting that there are thirteen segments in a typical banded wooly worm, they argue that each segment represents one week of winter. Orange segments predict mild weeks, and black ones foretell bad winter weather.

My kids used to go out every year and collect these worms and take them to the station. It was great fun. This year, the forecast will be in a couple of weeks. People make it a point to be sitting in front of the TV to hear what Judy has to say.

Then there is the Persimmon seed forecast. Cut into the seed from the narrow side, and look at the kernel. If the kernel is shaped like a knife, look for a cold, windy winter. If the kernel is shaped like a spoon, look for a wet, snowy winter. If the kernel is shaped like a fork, look for a mild winter.

I just love folklore, don't you? Anyway, I am done for now. I just wanted to say, I love Fall, and I believe it will soon be here. Someone is here, so I will close for now. If I can get back on later, I will.

Have a blessed day in Jesus.

Completion

2008-09-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

Today I completed a project. I crocheted a baby blanket for my soon to be born, grand-daughter, Brooklyn Elizabeth Conner. I plan to be a very visible fixture in this little girl's life. At least as long as she lives close by. I have three grandsons already. I don't get to see them very often, even though they all live within an hour's drive.

Anyway, back to completion. I don't think Ihave ever completed anything in my life. I got a GED because I wasn't able to finish high school. I went to college, but circumstances prevented me from finishing that. I have volunteered for various projects in my life, but something always got in the way. It seems as though I never had a focus on the completed objective. It feels really good to have finally finished something. I would like that to be a new trend in my life.

In the Bible, Paul talks about running a race. I remember being in elementary school and trying to run in races. I had never been allowed to participate in sports, so I wasn't any good. I always quit because I never felt as though I was good enough to do anything right. I guess I have become sort of introspective in regards to my walk with the Lord. I have quit running the race. I can't say when or how this happened, but it did. I don't know when I quit praying, or reading scripture, but I did. Going to church became a chore. For most of my life church was the one place I really wanted to be. That is about to change. I am beginning the race again. I am going to pace myself and not burn myself out. I am going to finish this race. I am sure I will not be in first, second, or even third place, but I WILL FINISH THE RACE WITH HONOR. How about you?

Baby Preacher

2008-09-02T16:36:00.000-07:00

I came upon this video accidentally. Yesterday I decided to clean out my Favorites folder and clicked on www.godtube.com. This video popped up and just captivated my heart. This little one will reach the world for Jesus someday. You just mark my words.

First Entry

2008-08-31T21:29:00.000-07:00

Hello. My name is Marian. I thought it was about time to enter the 21st century and start my own blog. I have no idea what I am going to put here, but you never know. I might have something interesting to say. At least here, I can't be interrupted. I can speak freely, without someone telling me what an idiot I am until AFTER I have had my say.

Speaking of having my say, I can't tell you how many times in my life I have opened my mouth to say something, and been immediately run over by the very people I am talking to, as though I couldn't possibly have anything important to say. Now that I think about it, I find that very annoying. I have someone very important to me, who gets very angry if I interrupt him while he is speaking, yet he has absolutely no problem doing it to me. Every where you go, people interrupt each other just in general conversation. Yet just dare to interrupt him, and he gets this furious, cold look on his face, that is obvious to everyone. Oh well, enough of that.

Everday I happen on to somebody or other's blog. What is a blog, anyway? I know it is short for weblog. It is just another form of journalling. People say it is very therapeutic. Is it? I guess I will just have to wait and see for myself.

I have seen all kinds of blogs. Some people blog to speak of their philosophies on life. Others use them as a platform to rant at the world. I find this a good place to rant. More people should rant this way. You see, my oldest son mostly only calls me when he is having a bad day and wants to spew his poison on me. In fact, all my children and my husband do that to me. They call me to rant and rave about first one thing, then the other. It is funny, though, that not one of them cares to hear me rant. I guess it is kind of like when your children are grown. You know, you are finally free from the duties of raising a family, and are now able to pursue your own interests. But boy, don't be away from home when one of your kids calls. You get, "Mom, where have you been!" I say, "I have been out doing this or that." "You have no right to be doing that, you are supposed to stay at home so I can call you when I need you!" "Well, now, Child. You don't want me telling you where you can go or who you can see. I can come and go as I please. I don't answer to you!" Has anybody had that happen to them yet? If not, you will.

Anybody get the idea that I am just rambling? You're right, I am. This is kind of fun. I can say what I want, and nobody gets hurt. If they do, then it is only because they allow themselves to be hurt. Well, I guess I have rambled enough for now. If anybody cares to read this and respond, great. If not, oh well. It won't be the first time I have been blown off. Take care and have a good night.